That's right - no report this week. Too depressing.
A 2-1 defeat against the Howling Dreadnoughts. I played the first part of the game quite nicely, KOing a couple of zombies, and running the ball this time before finally scoring on turn 5. I could possibly have scored later, but I figured 4 turns would be enough to hold him off.
Nope! I then did the same fucking thing I do every fucking time. He did some risky handing off play to get the ball quickly to the half way line. He moved some guys to the wing. I overcommitted to stopping him, he turns and cuts into the centre, I can't get near him. On turn 8 he scores via two blocks to clear the way, an unskilled dodge, an unskilled hand off and a GFI (66% chance of success with a rr, which he had).
I just can't seem to defend with this team! To make it worse, my best player (AG5 blitzer) got a MNG injury, apo'd from a -1MV, so I won't have him available against Zombie Economics next week. Grrr.
So we line up second half. I take a KO and a badly hurt on the LOS, so with 9 against 11 I am already really struggling. I then do the same fucking thing I fucking do every fucking time. He moved some guys to the wing. I overcommitted to stopping him, he turns and cuts into the centre, I can't get near him. 2-1 turn 13.
I've got 4 turns to score an equaliser. No problem. I don't rush - on turn 13 I knock over his LOS guys and set up another mighty blow hit. I get a couple of KO'd zombies, which is fine. I also set up some pressure in the channels so that unless he defends those I will be able to get runners near his line next turn. He takes a risk on his turn 14, and tries to 1D blitz my star catcher with his killer wolf - this is the first really loose play he's made in the game. Doesn't work, wolf falls over and KOs himself.
So I'm feeling ok now - I've buggered up the first half by scoring too early and giving away a TD. OK, lesson learned, I can still get a draw. I run two catchers into his half, one on each side, and put up a screen around each of them. I use my last reroll at this point. He puts two guys near my thrower, meaning that if I want to get anything other than a long bomb I need to dodge through a tackle zone, but he messes up the positioning and I don't need anything other than s 2+ with a rr to get past. So to score on turn 15 I need to make 3 2+ rolls with a rr for each (91% chance). I get snakeyes on the pass.
Still - my thrower has dodge and is next to the ball. My opponent can only get a 2D block on me. If I stay upright then I can blitz the markers away. Oh, he killed my thrower with his block, picked up the ball and ran off. (At this point my opponent, who I'm sure is a nice guy really, starts gloating about having killed my level 3 thrower. I *really* didn't need that at this stage and I don't feel quite so bad about the -1AV I put on his star wight now)
So in turn 16 my only hope is to dodge my remaining blitzer away from his marker, make 2 GFIs, 1D blitz the blodge ghoul and knock the ball free, then dodge a nearby lineman away from his marker, pick the ball up (possibly in a TZ) and make a long bomb to a waiting catcher. All without a rr. Christ knows what the odds of that are, but I bet they ain't good.
To quote John Cleese in the film "Clockwise" - "It's not the despair I can't stand, it's the hope." Fortunately I am put out of my misery early as I fail the first dodge.
The MVP then goes to my dead thrower. Which is just fucking typical. Bastards all of them.
Right, so, what to learn? Oh yes - STOP DEFENDING LIKE A FUCKING TOSSER. Seriously - how hard is it? Keep strong in the centre - if your opponent commits to a wing then that's fine, use fast positionals to block the way, and crush him against the edge. Gah! I really need to learn how to beat this crap.
Offence was fine as usual. I made 2 mistakes on offence and each one reduced my result by one notch (ie from win to draw to loss). Scoring too early in the first half meant that my opponent had 4 turns to score. He needed all of them in the end. That meant that the best I could do was a draw. I then got snakeyes on the second drive to turn a draw into a defeat.
God knows what I'll do against Zombie Economics next week. I've got the cash to buy a new thrower, which I'll have to do, but with only one blitzer... I think I need more than 11 players, so I'm tempted to buy another lineman. I'll have to see what that does to my inducements though - with my blitzer out I could well have a wizard available.
At least I have the possibility of getting after the ghouls - the mighty blow catcher did great once again - getting an easy TD and a nice casualty too.
So it turns out I did a report. Bah. I need a drink.